I am learning something new about myself. Here it is...ready?...
I am a bad blogger.
Jason Boyett (author of "The Pocket Guide to the Bible" and "Oh Me of Little Faith"...seriously, ya'll, buy it) said this (and I paraphrase) "if you don't blog everyday, your blog may as well not exist".
"Le Sigh." (that was Pepe LePieux)
So, I can add "blogging" to my list of "Susie's Failures". Hey...you want to see some of the other things I'm terrible at? Why not. I'm in that kind of a mood.
1. Cleaning. I hate it. I would rather eat brussel sprouts with boogers on top (really, could boogers really make the brussel sprouts worse? I think not.)
2. Staying on task. I get distracted often...HEY! Cookies!
3. (crunch, munch) Eating well. I enjoy crappy food. Chips, chocolate, cheese, cake, chocolate cheesecake, candy, french fries, pizza...ugh. I love it all.
4. Picking out clothes. I really dislike my choice of clothing. But the problem is that I also dislike dressing rooms. So I don't know that I hate my clothes until I'm home. Oh, and the other problem is that I dislike looking into the full length mirror. So, I don't know I look like a frumpy sixty year old until I see myself in the mirror section of Target. Crud.
5. Saying certain words. I struggle with "rural" and "family reunion". They come out as "rrrul" and "family ruin". It's embarrassing.
6. Drinking water. If it doesn't have ground up coffee or high fructose corn syrup in it I don't want it. Water seems like a rip off to me. Seriously. Where's the stuff that should be in it?
7. Lotion. Due to my disdain for water, my hands get dry (that's what my husband tells me...I'm not completely convinced). I forget to lotion up. And when I remember, I just don't do it. Because I'm lazy.
8. Matching my socks. When folding laundry I don't pair my socks. When I get dressed I like to be creative and pick out two different socks to wear. After all, I don't look in the mirror...what do I care?
9. Confrontation. I don't like it. Unless I should like it. In which case, if it makes you like me...I will like it. Is that okay? I just want you to think I'm cool. I'm sorry.
10. Chatting. It's awkward. I never know when it's over. I have no desire to use "brb", "rotfl" or "lol"...I HATE "lol". I would love to see "lol" go to it's own little island and die. lol. Really, are you truly laughing out loud? Or are you, like me, sitting expressionless, looking at the screen and just writing it? And it's so passive aggressive. "I hate you. lol". So, do you hate me? Are you joking? Or are you laughing to spite me with your hate? I DON'T know! Die, lol, die, die, die!!! You, lol, are ruining communication as we know it!
Oh, unless you, dear reader like "lol". Then I like it too. I'm sorry. Please don't be mad.
Okay, I think I've fulfilled my blog for the day. It makes no sense. It is weird. And I've burned 20 minutes or so.
Just for you, Jill DeJonge. You'd better read this. lol.