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Writer of fiction that reflects the light of Jesus. Sometimes the grit mixes with beauty to make up a picture of this life. That's where my fiction lives.

Monday, May 10, 2010

A Post for Jill DeJonge

I am learning something new about myself. Here it is...ready?...

I am a bad blogger.

Jason Boyett (author of "The Pocket Guide to the Bible" and "Oh Me of Little Faith"...seriously, ya'll, buy it) said this (and I paraphrase) "if you don't blog everyday, your blog may as well not exist".

"Le Sigh." (that was Pepe LePieux)

So, I can add "blogging" to my list of "Susie's Failures". Hey...you want to see some of the other things I'm terrible at? Why not. I'm in that kind of a mood.

1. Cleaning. I hate it. I would rather eat brussel sprouts with boogers on top (really, could boogers really make the brussel sprouts worse? I think not.)

2. Staying on task. I get distracted often...HEY! Cookies!

3. (crunch, munch) Eating well. I enjoy crappy food. Chips, chocolate, cheese, cake, chocolate cheesecake, candy, french fries, pizza...ugh. I love it all.

4. Picking out clothes. I really dislike my choice of clothing. But the problem is that I also dislike dressing rooms. So I don't know that I hate my clothes until I'm home. Oh, and the other problem is that I dislike looking into the full length mirror. So, I don't know I look like a frumpy sixty year old until I see myself in the mirror section of Target. Crud.

5. Saying certain words. I struggle with "rural" and "family reunion". They come out as "rrrul" and "family ruin". It's embarrassing.

6. Drinking water. If it doesn't have ground up coffee or high fructose corn syrup in it I don't want it. Water seems like a rip off to me. Seriously. Where's the stuff that should be in it?

7. Lotion. Due to my disdain for water, my hands get dry (that's what my husband tells me...I'm not completely convinced). I forget to lotion up. And when I remember, I just don't do it. Because I'm lazy.

8. Matching my socks. When folding laundry I don't pair my socks. When I get dressed I like to be creative and pick out two different socks to wear. After all, I don't look in the mirror...what do I care?

9. Confrontation. I don't like it. Unless I should like it. In which case, if it makes you like me...I will like it. Is that okay? I just want you to think I'm cool. I'm sorry.

10. Chatting. It's awkward. I never know when it's over. I have no desire to use "brb", "rotfl" or "lol"...I HATE "lol". I would love to see "lol" go to it's own little island and die. lol. Really, are you truly laughing out loud? Or are you, like me, sitting expressionless, looking at the screen and just writing it? And it's so passive aggressive. "I hate you. lol". So, do you hate me? Are you joking? Or are you laughing to spite me with your hate? I DON'T know! Die, lol, die, die, die!!! You, lol, are ruining communication as we know it!

Oh, unless you, dear reader like "lol". Then I like it too. I'm sorry. Please don't be mad.

Okay, I think I've fulfilled my blog for the day. It makes no sense. It is weird. And I've burned 20 minutes or so.

Just for you, Jill DeJonge. You'd better read this. lol.

5 comments:

  1. I read every word. And I quite enjoyed it. It made me lol quite often. :) Yes, I did use lol just to irk you a little bit. Really, though, it did make me giggle, out loud...maybe we should change the expression to gol.

    And Jason Boyett is stupid. I would be "le sad" if you stopped blogging altogether!

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  2. Oh no! Jason Boyett was just stating the importance of blogging daily! I won't stop blogging all together.

    I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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  3. I also disagree with Mr. Boyett. I blog and since I'm a little narcissistic I also think what I have to say is pretty clever, never mind that my mom is the only one who comments on it. But the children won't allow me to blog every day and FYI most of the "professional" blogs i follow don't blog every day. Also when I type lol if I then realize I haven't actually laughed out loud I make myself laugh out loud for an entire second so that it is true, it's also a good time to practice my diabolical laugh so it's multitasking. I am very happy that I stumbled upon this by the way very funny!!

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  4. I didn't realize how much we had in common! Except for the socks thing (I am obsessed with matching socks...and I usually wear them inside out because they are much more comfortable that way :) So, I trade creativity for comfort.
    I LOVE you, Soozie!

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  5. Oh...please understand, Jason Boyett wasn't saying anything in a mean spirited way. He was just saying that people view blogging as "Out of sight, Out of mind". He was giving a helpful pointer for someone who wants to promote their writing through a blog. Sorry if that wasn't clear.

    And, I'm glad so many of you can identify with my failings. I'm hoping to do more of these kind of blogs. They're fun to write!

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