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Writer of fiction that reflects the light of Jesus. Sometimes the grit mixes with beauty to make up a picture of this life. That's where my fiction lives.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

5 Phobias

Fear is natural. Fear can be good. It tells us when to run away, when to hide, when to scream like a little girl.

Phobias, however, aren't really the most healthy thing in the world to collect. But I am a phobia hoarder. (Yes! Double Whammies...oh, Whammies aren't good...poop)

I thought I may as well share them with you. That way you can get a good laugh out of my incredible fear.

You're welcome.

1. Refrigerated dough. I really enjoy me a Grands biscuit. I could eat those little fat filled crescent rolls until I...well...roll. But I break into cold sweets when I have to break the can open. It is unpredictable. Sometimes it flops open with no pop, no problem. But other times it explodes, sending dough across the room. It is the noise, yes, that I hate. But what I fear is the possibility that somehow I am going to lose a finger. Or an eye. And all the while the little Dough Boy is pointing and laughing.

2. Sharks. Big sharp teeth. Big bad attitude. Big blind anger. They want to eat me. And I just saw that they can swim up a fresh water river. And then they eat everyone. There is a creek by my house. And I know that they are all secretly planning to inhabit that stream and get me. Stupid Jaws 3-D. You ruined my life.

3. Head Cheese. Seriously. Have you ever seen that stuff? Google it. You will fear it too.

4. Depths. Yeah, I fear heights too...but that's too common. I'm also afraid of being deep. Deep in the water. Deep in the ground. Deep in slime. Whatever. Because of this fear I do not jump into the water. What if I never came back up? (This fear came from a near drowning when I was very small...it's legit).

Drum roll....

5. Having nothing to say. You've been there. You're with somebody...a coworker, family member, whoever. You completely run out of something to say. And it's not a very comfy silence. That lull makes me nauseous. That's why I never stop talking! Problem solved.

FDR once said "We have nothing to fear, but fear itself".

Oh great...something else to fear.

3 comments:

  1. So funny and so true I'm afraid to go whale watching b/c I don't really want to be out on the ocean, I mean it's cool to look at but it has stuff in it!!

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  2. I, too, hate the popping of the biscuit can. It's also yet another reason I hate balloons. Seriously, unless they're the silver kind, they are not allowed in my house. (Also, the little pieces can choke kids to death. Happy thought, huh?)

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